Expectations

Great Expectations

Were you assigned to read the Charles Dickens novel, Great Expectations in high school? I was, but sadly I cannot remember many details about the writing. As I was praying about the letter ‘E’ in the Alphabet Soup series, that book came to mind. Right now there is planning going on for my 20th high school reunion. I cannot believe it has been twenty years; I must be getting old.  But it all seems so fitting. Twenty years ago I had ‘great expectations’ for what I would be, what I would do, who I would be with, where I would live… In my seventeen year old mind, I expected things to work out just as I planned them. I would go to school, graduate, travel, be rich and free from all craziness. I chuckle, because that was really the extent of my planning. It was all so simple. But I forgot to add the bumps in the road, the twists, turns, detours, sudden stops…in my naivete, I left so many details out. I never knew that my expectations of life and relationships and finances would be so greatly challenged, that they would change based on my circumstances, and heck sometimes they would be completely negligible. To go from great expectations to no expectations, how sad is that? But unfortunately after life beats you up one too many times that often happens.

What happened to all my hope?

For me, it was gradual. I expected to be happy, but I found myself in a relationship that was unhealthy for me. The constant fighting, worrying, anxiety and trying to cover up the real truth wore me down. I felt hopeless. Tired from all the emotional highs and lows, I began to lower my standards and decrease my expectations. I went from vibrancy to survival mode, but on the outside you would have never known.  The saddest part about it all though, was the fact that not only did my expectations about my relationship go to hell in a handbasket, it trickled down. Trickled down to the way I felt about myself, my health, my finances, everything. I began to believe that I was not worthy. That maybe, this was my plight in life. My expectations were quickly diminishing. What I once was excited for, now seemed out of my league. The things I hoped and dreamed for were no longer an option. I expected to have to struggle for everything I got. That’s a hard place to be in. But you get what you expect.

Meet the God of Restoration

Little by little, day by day, God in his great mercy and wisdom began to restore my hope.  Hope restored led to great expectations. Great expectations led to trust in God to work it all out for my good. Life is filled with choice, chance and circumstance, these can shape and mold our expectations about what the future could look like for us. If we expect to have a hard time, we will have a hard time because as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he. Expect to have joy, God will give you joy. Expect to have strife, guess what, you will have strife. If we expect to have something, our thoughts, actions, decisions begin to align with that expectation. We get what we expect.

Even when we are hope filled, we are not in control

Sometimes we expect things and events don’t unfold the way we imagined, people behave contrary to what we desire, deals fall through. We are not in control. Our expectations are not in control. But just because something doesn’t happen the way you hoped, that doesn’t mean it is time to give up hope. Maybe it won’t look the way you planned it out but don’t give up hope. Continue to give it your all and leave the rest up to God.  When I got married, I expected to get pregnant right away. I prayed and nothing happened. I prayed some more and still nothing happened. The desire was still in my heart and I did not know what to do with it, so I decided to not want it any more. I decided to cancel the expectation, but my husband didn’t waver when I wavered, and God was faithful and gracious to us. Rewind to a few months ago, I found out my last IVF attempt did not work. I really expected to get pregnant. It did not happen. I was momentarily devastated, then I had the audacity to believe God for a miracle. Talk about great expectations. I know he can do it, I just question will he do it for me?

We have all been there before…

Are you struggling? Do you expect to always struggle or do you know God can make a way? Have you settled for the bare minimum because you were let down before or you believe that this is just how your life is going to be? Did you have great expectations for your life that you buried? Have your great expectations turned into no or low expectations?

This is the time to do a NEW THING. Time to resurrect your hopes and dreams. Time to have great expectations again. Hope equals Great Expectations. We who know the Lord are NOT a hopeless people. And even when our great expectations aren’t met with such great results, we can trust that God will work it all together for our good. That to me is a win-win situation. Let’s start winning!