Are you in a desperate marriage or do you have a friend or loved one who is? Although I have only been married for going on nine years, I have had the privilege with walking with several people through their marital issues. I have always given the answer to seek counseling and exhaust all your options before divorce but many times I struggled with that answer when things seemed hopeless. I chose this book, Loving Your Spouse When You Feel Like Walking Away by Dr. Gary Chapman because I wanted to get a different viewpoint on ‘what to do’ when it seems as if a marriage is doomed. I would say this book delivered. The author covered many hard topics like sexual abuse, addiction, infidelity, workaholics, verbal abuse, irresponsible, and non-communicative spouses (this list is not exhaustive). I loved how Dr. Chapman dispels the following myths: 1. Where you are determines your state of mind 2. People cannot change 3. There are only two options in a desperate marriage – living in misery or separation/divorce. 4. The situation is hopeless. Dr. Chapman spent a great time breaking down these myths and giving real options which would help one to hope in the restoration and healing of their marriage. The author also spends a great deal of time talking about how you can influence your spouse although you cannot change them. I think this is a very critical piece of information that can free many spouses who feel hopeless or lost within their marriage. Dr. Chapman explains the reasons for certain behaviors both in the relational and scientific way. This method of unpacking an issue provides so much insight and truly helps you re-evaluate the why behind the actions which in turn can help you understand your spouse better. This book tackles the hardest subjects and uses real life stories to emphasize that no marriage is completely hopeless. It is definitely a great resource for those who are contemplating walking away.
Overall it is a fairly easy read but in some chapters the psychology can get a bit cumbersome, but I understand why it is there. If you are in a marriage where you feel miserable or if you are dealing with major issues with your spouse, this is the book for you. The main thing you will take away is hope and that is always a good thing.